Pulse

I can hear it two blocks away. A low throbbing sound stretching out into the still night air. As I walk closer to the club there's an excited atmosphere surrounding the area. A queue is forming outside the entrance. I line up with the others and stamp my feet expectantly against the cold nip in the air. Marvelling at the girls wearing stilettos I wonder how long they'll last dancing for hours. They look gorgeous.

After a few minutes of anticipation I'm in. The bass line vibrates my body and I feel a rush of adrenaline as the music buoys me up. Pushing politely past people I make my way to the bar to meet my friends.

"Gonna be a good night, hey?" C shouts over the music.

"Definitely!" I yell back happily. I take in the people around me and discreetly check them out. The bartender leans over and asks what I'd like. A vodka orange it's to be.

Following C and K through the crowded club I take in my surroundings.

The club is set in an old ballroomesque hotel dating back more than a few decades. A grand staircase cascades down the middle of the entrance hall. DJs, bars, and a dance floor greets one as they walk around the bottom floor. We start treading slowly up the staircase to the second story, above us is a high dome. The classy chandeliers clash with the house music shaking the walls.

Glancing back to the dance floor below I spy a sea of people grinding and moving to the unsteady beats. Scantily clad women are slinking their way through the mass and occasionally end up tangled between men and women refusing to move.

I skip up and forwards onto the second floor. Jumping behind C and K I hear a different type of music. My body is moving involuntarily. Trance is pounding out of massive speakers at 120bpm. I'm ready to move, to mix with the others, to celebrate this music pulsating through me.

A man grabs my waist as I try to move past him. He mouths "Hi" and moves to take me away to the bar. He's attractive but instead I shake my head and smiling I gently disengage his hand from my hip.

I slide past people standing in the wings drinking, smoking, chatting, and dancing to the music. Looking to catch up with C and K I see a guy wearing sunglasses. How annoying, it's a club not a beach. "Must be to cover up his drug use," I think unfairly.

I see my friends dancing their way onto the main stage area. I make my way over to them and we start swaying in time with the thumping bass line. Up down up down we jump and move. There's a pause in the music where overlapping synths blend and melt together creating a heaven-like atmosphere. The crowd shoves their hands up and worship the DJ's creation en masse.

Hold it. Hold it. Hold it...

And now! Dropping the beats the DJ throws his hands up at the horde of people in front of him. My friends and I turn and grin like idiots at each other.

As I'm dancing myself into oblivion all I feel is happiness at the sensation these pulsating beats breed in me. I give myself up to it. And it's bliss.

Itch

I'm itchy.

And I'm going to stay that way until March, unfortunately.

It's the travel itch that's got to me again. It's never far away but at the moment it's so particularly awful I feel like running to the nearest airport and getting on the next plane outta here. Doesn't matter where.

I have often found myself at these turning points in my life looking up aimlessly into the sky and searching out planes flying miles above. I imagine myself on one of these planes travelling to an unknown destination that holds different people and a different culture. It's funny because when I'm actually on a plane I can't wait to get off it. But when I'm stuck in a place that I want to leave it's the most beautiful thing.

Today I had some news that my company has been sold to another one and thus creating of the largest merges in American history. Equity Office Properties (NYSE:EOP) was sold for $36 Billion to Blackstone located in NYC. I'm not sure as of yet if I will be keeping my job but if I get a severance package I will be able to scratch my itch and travel overseas again (much sooner than expected).

Airports are surreal. I love the organised chaos that surrounds me when I'm in one. There's a hum of purpose and suppressed excitement. Not to mention the bundle of nerves bouncing off the numerous gates and terminals. However much I adore the airport I can't be in one for an extended length of time without wanting to leave. It's good for me in small doses.

Here's hoping my itch may recede to a bearable status until March when I'll be on one of those planes I see all the time in the sky. Because sometimes you just need a good scratch.

Missed Connection

As she walked outside the office the cold, sharp air hit her face. It was refreshing to walk briskly after sitting all day. The 9 to 5 crowd were streaming out steadily onto the traffic laden streets avoiding eye contact and trying to get to their trains on time. She moved along at a quick pace wanting to get home as soon as possible but not really knowing why.

4 more blocks. She starts to play a game with the other pedestrians. She sees how fast she can get around certain people in her way before she has to move out of the way for those walking on the other side. It's entertaining and keeps her shifting in and out of the crowds at a faster than reasonable pace.

She rounded the corner and sprinted down the steps to the subway, managing to just catch the train before the doors slid swiftly shut. Heaving a sigh of relief she sought out a seat. Window seats are the best. These seats offer a sense of freedom, that is one can look out without worrying about meeting other passenger's eyes (just why is that so uncomfortable, anyway?).

She spotted a man sitting in an outer seat leaving the only free window one. "Why doesn't he covet the window like the rest of us?" She wondered. She walked up just as two larger-framed men pushed past and she squeezed up next to the pole in front of the man. Hello! Gorgeous guy on the front. She smiled apologetically and tried to not look like an idiot whilst asking, "Do you mind if I sit there?"

"No, not at all. Go ahead." British. Nice.

"Thanks!" As she went to sit her headphones got twisted round the pole she was leaning against and tore off her head. They both went to grab the headphones and bumped hands.

"Here you go." He said smiling at her in a comforting and curious way.

"Thank you, I'm sorry about that." She was obviously embarrassed but sat down and tried to be normal.

She reached into her handbag and pulled out a worn copy of I Capture the Castle. The British guy glanced over and checked out her book before looking away again. She peered out the window thinking of how attractive the man's hands were. She wanted to pluck up the courage to speak to him but the taboo of meeting people via public transportation loomed darkly over her.

Just then the man pulled out a book of his own. She tried to glimpse the title but couldn't make it out without him noticing her noticing him. It was as if he only pulled it out for her benefit since after a tense minute or two he put the book away again.

They shifted a bit next to each other but not uncomfortably. Words that were straining to be said were lost against the backdrop of several boarding passengers and the inconsistent humming of train.

Finally her stop was coming up and as she went to stand he stood, too. He moved ahead near the doors. She was peeking round a woman and caught the face of the man. Then she ducked back behind the woman nervously. As she put her head round again the doors were sliding open and she saw the man smiling at her. She smiled back.

He drifted through the crowd flowing towards the exit. She tried to keep him in view but people were moving in on her from both sides and she struggled to keep up.

She stepped quickly outside into the open air and caught a glimpse of the man at the street corner waiting to cross. He looked back just then and saw her standing by the subway entrance doors. He gave the briefest of waves and crossed the street walking fast into the cold night.

Halloween

Halloween was great although the night was shorter than expected (I blame it on the vodka jelly shots). I started at Elsworth and Tanya's apartment where we got a bit toasted before our pub crawl in Boystown. At the pubs I found all sorts of wicked people out and about! I haven't had a proper Halloween in about 5 years so this was a nice change. I was a Tavern Wench and what great fun I had with this costume... Look at these guys! They're so fierce that I look normal (even though my costume wasn't that out there to begin with...



After Boystown Elsworth and I thought we'd hit Crobar for the Deadman's Ball. It seemed like a good idea to go later...WRONG. There was a seemingly mile long queue. And it was bloody freezing. After waiting about 20 minutes I'm ashamed we said "Sod it!" and left. At least we had some good times anyway!

Can't wait for the next party, shame it's only once a year we can dress up and behave like idiots...oh wait. I can do that all the time. Nevermind.

Sad

Oh, the disappointment. I fell in love from a distance and now I will never be with my love. I tried so very hard to be with them but it is never going to happen. And I wish it weren't meant to be.

I am talking, of course, about my new apartment. Or the one I would've had if I had found someone to take over my sublease at my current apartment. I placed adverts all over the bleeping place, three papers and two sites online. I received only 5 phone calls from interested parties. I blame my landlady as I believe she has been trying to sabotage my efforts so that I will stay.

So I bid adieu to my lovely furnished studio at a great price in a wicked location. The furniture I will not say goodbye to as I purchased it all. So I will be moving that into my current apartment...oh, the drama. I will be happy when it is all over. Er, until the lease is up at the end of May (I will be putting myself through the dilemma of searching all over again in March and April, lucky me).

I just love being a grown-up. Not.