Anniversary

It's been a year this month since I've started this blog! So many changes have occured, mostly for the better. A few of my new year's resolutions have come to pass, particularly on the career front. I was in dire circumstances last year! I enjoy my current job very much.

I became a vegetarian fully which has been challenging but very refreshing. I had a brief romance which was lovely but short-lived. I went to Europe twice and once to NYC to meet up with Meredith from Sydney. Some high school friends got married and went to the 5 year reunion. I was a dj on a radio show that went bust after a couple of months and I ended up making it to 11 concerts!

Concerts attended:

DJ Tiesto
Armin van Buuren
Lollapalooza
Purenation Festival
Paul van Dyk
Judge Jules
Sasha
Gabriel & Dresden
Imogen Heap
Timo Maas
ATB (NYE)

Overall it's been a satisfactory struggle of a year and I'm quite looking forward to 2007.
Right, I suppose I better make a couple of resolutions for the coming year.

1) Save money. I'm never getting out of this effing country if I don't put something away! So I suppose that limits the amount of concerts I'll be going to (with the exception of Andy Moor 13 Jan, that ticket has already been bought...). No Burning Man this year, I'm afraid.

2) Leave country by autumn and do CELTA course in Europe before heading to Asia (Hello Hong Kong! Fay, get ready for me!).

3) Take Dodie Smith's advice and do noble deeds, specifically helping out at the Animal Shelter.

4) Keep positive.

5) Stay in touch with my friends around the world. I miss you all.

That's it! Not a horribly lengthy list but it'll do.

Have a happy and safe 2 oh oh 7!

'Tis the Season

Festive holidays and all that. Merry tidings, holly, wreaths and joy.

Millions of people moving en masse through streets and shops alike handing out money left, right, and centre.

Queues of people are wound around the block for the IT toy and the IT computer game, etc. It's only a bloody toy for fuck's sake, your child will live without it. Honestly, there's no reason for anyone to be trampled.

I know most people really enjoy the holidays and for the most part, so do I. But really, enough is enough. We've already had a month of it and it'll no doubt be sticking around for another 3 weeks...I enjoy the tacky lights and fresh bite in the air but I don't enjoy the effing holiday songs played round the clock on the radio ALL day long at work. Nor do I enjoy how materialistic everyone has become. Admittedly, I am a little bit but I'm easy peasy when it comes to gifts (money will do, thank you). I actually would like a Christmas with no present giving and we just have a good 'ol fashioned party drinking and dancing!

I suppose it's in order to have that "magical" day opening pressies with the family whilst listening to effing holiday songs (it is OK to listen to these songs on the actual holiday) and eating roast turkey and stuffing.

Oh, what am I ranting about? I enjoy that day just like everyone else... But too much overexposure is a bad thing, even for Christmas. If you can't beat 'em join 'em, eh?

Happy Holidays!

Poem

What's around the corner by Shelley Lister

What’s around the corner?
I often muse
Things never seem to end up
The way we choose

Life has a funny way
Of throwing you off course
A testing moment
From a higher source

A change in fortunes
When your life’s a mess
Something comes along
The balance redressed

Try not to think
Where your life may lead
Because if we knew
It would be a shame indeed

‘Cos if we could see
What future’s in store
I think that would be
A real old bore

Embrace the unknown
Let’s just drift along
Each day a new journey
Now that can’t be wrong

Balm

"Why do you cry?"

"Because I'm sad"

"Why are you sad?"

"Because I hurt."

Dodie Smith, a fantastic British writer once wrote,
"Noble deeds and hot baths are the best cures for depression."
This has been a bit of balm on a recent bout of sadness.

Jealous

I was in a long-term relationship a few years ago that crushed me when it ended. I was mad with grief. It hurt so much I felt like my arm had been cut off and I was struggling through the world without my precious limb.

Obviously, I didn't handle the break-up well. Mostly we broke up due to my insane jealousy. I was horrible. I admit it. Jealousy is ugly. It's the worst emotion in the world. It breeds paranoia, anger, and suspicion. To this day I don't understand why I felt like this or how it totally possessed me. He wasn't cheating on me, I lived with him and his family, we had the same friends... What it comes down to is that I was insecure.

What's funny is since that relationship I've never felt jealous again...It's like all the ugly emotions were knocked out of me. The relief of being released is ten, no a million fold. I find myself wishing I could go back in time and change the way I acted or the things I said. I realise now how immature I once was. By no means was I the only one who did wrong in the relationship but there is tremendous regret on my behalf.

I wish I could tell that past person how sorry I am about certain things. Even though we may never speak to each other again I wanted them to know that I admire them and hope they are happy. Perhaps I should even thank them for throwing the jealousy out of me. All it needed was a good shove.

And now I can breathe.