Happy with...

Family
Chocolate
Spring
Trance
Snail mail
Sketchers
Bikinis
Marching bands
Hula hoops
My bicycle
Paint
California
Flame throwers

Annoyed with...

Laughter that sounds like crying
Slow walkers
RnB
Born again Christians
Peas
My calves
Text speak
Hipsters
American Airlines
Texas
Spring-breakers (the ones going to Mexico or Florida)
Chicago's CTA
My landlady

Fee

Usually whilst visiting a country one enjoys their time sight-seeing, catching up with various friends, travelling and whatnot. One (i.e. me) does not expect to pay the country (i.e. the UK) a fee just to leave. I have never heard of this but apparently I am ignorant.

"Check in desk 1 is available!" An airline employee shouts nearby. I scoot myself forward and neatly wheel a smallish carryall behind me.

"Where are you flying to, miss?" A perky brunette with a French accent asks me.

"Chicago." I lay my passport on top of the counter and wait to answer the usual questions. Instead I get this:

"Are you aware that you have to pay a 20 pound fee to leave the UK? Will that be cash or charge?" She didn't look at me whilst saying this as I'm sure she's used to being abused from 'unaware' flyers and she's right, I'm no different.

"What? When the hell did that start?" I gasp extremely pissed off and forgetting to not shoot the messenger.

"It began in February, miss. Will that be cash or charge?" She finally looked up at me warily and I could see that she was annoyed as well but I was still in a rant stage.

"This is bullshit! Who can I write a letter of complaint to? It's for the bloody olympics, isn't it? Stupid Ken!"

She didn't say anything but just looked at me, waiting. I was holding everyone up and I was late for my flight so I grudgingly forked over my credit card and glared as she printed a receipt out.

"Here you go, miss. Have a safe flight." She said forcing a smile on her face.

I was still dazed at having to pitch out $40 just to leave so I'm afraid to say I wasn't very polite but just mumbled "Yeah" with the infernal receipt and thankfully, my passport, in hand.

What I'd like to know is what happens if a person doesn't have a credit card or any cash on them? Will they have to live in the airport such as Tom Hanks in that film Terminal? They can't just kick them out onto the street, can they?

When I got home I was raving on about this incident to my transport buddy (girl I meet everyday on the train platform). She was the one to point out to me that actually the UK isn't the only one extracting precious money from it's tourists, citizens, anyone trying to broaden their mind by travelling, but in fact several countries follow this maddening protocol. Apparently, Thailand, some Caribbean country, and a few South American countries do this, too.

I am much smarter and wiser now geared with this knowledge. Perhaps I should open a savings account purely for departure fees? In the future I shall remember not to throw a foul-mouthed tantrum in the airport.

Or not. You never know when one may come in handy.

London

Had an excellent time this visit round in my favourite city! Wandered round the place from Richmond to Canary Wharf and from Spitalfield's Market in the East End to Green Park in the West (that's Trafalgar in the photo above).

Of course I met up with most of the usual suspects and some new ones! It was a lovely week and I wish it were longer as do most people on their hols, I imagine. Met up with the family in Richmond for a bbq amongst other things, ran amok with Shelley to Doon (club in Trafalgar), rode the slides in the Tate Modern, and got down and dirty at the Temple Walkabout (foul snakebites were present, of course). Shelley, it was great to meet your friends and workmates, they're wicked!

Met up with uni friends Aliya (from London uni) and Jay (from Sydney uni), saw old friend Royden who might be training for the 2008 Olympics in Beijing (you can do it! I'll come cheer you on!), and met up with new friend Clive and had a serious dance night out at The End checking out Danny Howells spin some wicked tunes (photo of us below).

All in all the best visit in ages to Londontown, despite the double of cost in transport and how crap the dollar is (more in next post on that subject). Thanks everyone, I love you heaps and shall meet up with some of you shortly on the continent in summer.

Stop

Stop calling me.

Stop texting me.

Just stop it.

You know who you are.