Phobias

My new partner in crime at work is funny. A's a cool gal. Totally All-American. Could belong on one of those toothpaste adverts. Over the past couple of weeks I've picked up on a funny phobia that she's got going. Which isn't to say they are funny to her because they are Serious. Like my phobia with spiders. It's no joke. Any stray ones near me must die because if I don't kill them first they will destroy me. Yeah, yeah, irrational. But they give me the heebie jeebies.

A and I were working on invoices one morning when all of a sudden she's shouting, "Ew! Ew! Get it away from me! Now!"

"What? What is it?" I asked alarmed. I begin looking about instinctively spot-checking the place for spiders.

"That!!" She points at a piece of paper. I picked it up.

"This? What's wrong with it?" I looked at the paper and saw that a piece of it had been slightly ripped. There was a long translucent spot where the paper had been torn off. I didn't see any spiders whatsoever so what was wrong?

"I can't stand torn paper! It makes me sick! Put it in a place I can't see it!" I look at her suspiciously. It was 4th day on the job and I thought for sure she was messing with me.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes! I really have a thing about it. Please put it away!" I tucked it gingerly under some other papers and a laugh threatened to let loose. This is the strangest phobia I've ever come across. I find myself checking paper now and any that are torn I hide.

Seriously, though. Spiders. They better not find out where I work as well as where I live. I've got a shoe and I know how to use it. Those leggy bastards.