Bats in the Building!
Nothing like having tenants freak out over a rabid bat to make my day. Apparently, there was a loose bat in the massive lobby of the two connected buildings I work in and help manage. Through the grapevine I heard that it landed on a lady's leg and scared her to death. Well, not to death because I mean, she didn't actually die, did she? It's just some little diseased mammal not an 8-legged freakish arachnid. C'mon now.
But then the poor creature got confused and started flying into people. In turn the people thought it was attacking them so good 'ol animal control was called. It was somehow ushered outside the building. And then our Director of Security, who likes to mess with people (and not in the nice kind of way, either) tells a security guard to watch over it. For hours. And hours.
Two of us decide to go check out the notorious bat. Outside we see a tiny brown spot huddled into a crevice of the building. A peeved guard was anxiously tapping his foot and looking around the street. For animal control, I assume.
"That little thing? That's what everyone's afraid of?" I ask a bit derisively. The guard hunched his shoulders on the defense and said, "Yeah, it looks small right now but you didn't see it with the wings out and flying around."
"Did you see if it had teeth? Maybe it's a vampire bat." Chimes in L, one of my really nice colleagues. I turned to her and asked, "Wait, do vampire bats exist? Or am thinking of people vampires? Which one is real again?"
"Vampire bats are real. I don't know if vampire people are but I think there really is a Translyvania so who knows..." L is grinning, I am grinning, the guard is not grinning and who knows what the bat is doing underneath its weird furriness. Probably grinning.
The guard stomps his feet like a pent-up bull and snorts, "Where the hell is animal control? I can't believe [the director of security] left me out here to tend a freaking bat!"
"But it's not really much of a bat as much as a tiny little brown lump in the corner." I point out.
"Yeah, and at least you get to be outside for awhile." L says with a wink.
Then we decide we've had enough of distraction with the bat. Because bats in real life aren't as cool as the movies. I mean, this doesn't even compare to Batman or his bats. And it's not like its Dracula himself in bat form. So who cares, anymore?
posted by Kathryn @ 3:34 PM
4 Comments:
I wonder if Dracula (or Batman for that matter), had chanced upon your conversation with the animal control/security guard, what would he have done? Would he have stood out there pondering the questions that were probably running through the scared bat's mind?
Or would he simply have told you all to get inside because he has half a mind to bite you for wondering about the plight of vampire bats?
I like to think the former. I figure that, as legend goes, if Dracula could turn himself into a bat , he should have changed on the spot, flown up there, and convinced the poor bat to seek some fruit or a sweltering cow in a field somewhere near.
Oh god, I really have had too much cookie dough! I'm contemplating the therapist skills of Dracula on nocturnal creatures. Help!
I don't know if Dracula would've pondered anything on the bat's behalf...I think he's a bit of a selfish bastard and would've instead taken a chunk out of the guard's neck. But who knows? Would be funny if my building was a haven Dracula. But it'd be a cunning tactic because it'd be the last place anyone would look!
*haven for Dracula*
OMG Kat, your job is so hilarious!!
-from jami
Post a Comment
<< Home