Challenge
I am feeling the heat of my job. Am a bit fed up with it to be perfectly honest. It is hard to imagine doing the same thing day in day out for the next 40 years. Some people are made for this type of routine. The workaholics and corporate-climbers that put half-assers like me to shame.
I've realized lately that even though I may show aptitude towards certain subjects, I'm still only mediocre. I'm like this in everything I do. I got good grades not great. I could play the flute well enough to get into symphonies but didn't have the courage or discipline to be a first. I do well at my job so I'm not called out but I could be much better (plus, I am sick of having to be a bitch to be liked in this profession. It is like going back to junior high all over again and I am not very good at being a bitch).
I suppose I am saying that I am average. Average has such a negative connotation. Some people think they are above everyone. I know I'm not. Am not trying to gain sympathy in this post, I know that I will toughen up and figure things out. Eventually. Just hoping it happens before I go ballistic and do something inappropriate (telling the b-o-s-s to stickit).
posted by Kathryn @ 5:26 PM
7 Comments:
Kits,
You are solidly above-average, at the very least. But one question is, "what does it matter"? I think your main concern is simply making money and achieving material comfort and opportunities to do the things you enjoy. It helps to be a super-genius, but in our present socio-economic reality everyone from somewhat-below-average to well-above-average is in pretty much the same boat. I think your real "problem" is not wanting to be a bitch to fit in at work, and two, not wanting to dedicate your whole life to the company. Fortunately, we do live in a society where there are a lot of career options; maybe you can find something that suits you better.
Also, in the deep spiritual and metaphysical sense, there is no question, we are ALL equal. We can all cause endless harm, or alternately, immense joy. Each of our actions send causal ripples outward across spacetime for infinity.
There's true greatness in realising you're just yourself. Many will strive in this world to be someone they're not; some will succeed, most won't. All of them will have missed the point about life completely.
Thanks, Graham. I'll sort something out, I'm sure.
Greavsie, does this mean I get 'the point' to life? This is HUGE. ;)
Average??, hell you've got a blog...
Don't worry, you'll be fine
Ha. Cheers, Brom.
Average ain't bad but Kathryn ain't average! Sorry babe but you are exceptional because only exceptional people are willing to take the chances you have and willing to throw caution to the wind and move to any city that suits their desire (Chicago included)! So don't fret my pet! Know that you always have in the back of your mind where you want to go in life, how you want to lead it. And no job is forever and you can move on to something else when you decide the time is right!
And fuck those junior high skanks who insist your emmulate their outward skankiness; Skanks love company!
You always know how to make me feel better, Justina! Thanks for that. Am feeling a bit less fragile these days. How are you? I miss you, babe. :)
Post a Comment
<< Home