Remembrance

14 years. I still think of you everyday and wish I had known you better. You brought joy to so many yet couldn't do it for yourself. Despite my love for you, I am hoping to not make the same mistakes you did.

I wish you were here. Sometimes, I dream that you are. I'll wake up excited thinking it has all been a cruel joke and you will hug me and hug me and make me feel safe.

Then I realize the truth and it hurts. I've stopped crying over it. Except for this day. Because I am allowed today. I miss you. It isn't fair and I don't understand why but I love you and I miss you.