Sometimes I wish I were...
a man. Because then I wouldn't have to deal with periods every month. Sure I'd have to put up with dangly bits and facial hair but I'm sure it's nothing compared to the torture I'm put through every few weeks. Of course, if I were a man this would change just about everything and I don't want things to change so no, I don't fully want to be a man. And I could definitely live without the dangly bits. I mean, definitely. Could live without them. And do.
See, the thing is I know that women are meant to reproduce. But it is particularly unfair for me because I don't ever want to give birth to a spawny little alien. Or child. (You say tomato, I say alien). It's not fair that I have to suffer pains everywhere and I am sick of the goddamn bible telling me that it is a women's lot because Eve stuffed up way back when. Yeah, right. Like I believe that bullshit propaganda.
So I'm at work, right. And obviously doing a crap job because in between scarfing peanut M&Ms down my gullet and popping painkillers whilst blogging the work ain't doing itself, y'know what I mean? If I were a man I wouldn't be having this problem right now (although still would be adjusting to weird dangly bits which don't get me wrong there is a time and place for).
*sigh* Off in hunt for large quantities of peanut M&Ms...
posted by Kathryn @ 10:20 AM
9 Comments:
First of all, they are not called "dangly bits".
That said, "You say tomato, I say alien"-- hilarious!
Then what else am I supposed to call them?
And cheers. x
periods suck. and periods as an excuse to blaspheme Eve sucks worse. I will join you in the crusade to not spit an alien out of my body. Because aliens are for LIFE!
I hope ur painkillers work and I hope you feel better!
Have spoken to a few girls who have said they'd rather be guys, have spoken to few guys who have said they'd rather be chicks. Hmm.
Scene in the movie Venus which I saw recently. Peter O'Toole telling the young girl, "The most beautiful sight most men will see is a woman's body. For a woman the most beautiful sight is that of her first child."
It was a beautiful movie moment, but one that I questioned as well.
Thanks, Justina. Am not as bad now. Glad we're united on the alien front. I need to move off that topic, methinks...
Yes, Quick, I can see the right to question that scene. And I'm sure it was touching and lovely but true to an extent but obviously not for everyone.
Just wait. I'll get up the duff accidentally and then get administered a strong dose of reality.
Fuck. *knock on wood repeatedly*
*with head*
I feel your pain, Kathryn! I try not to whine about periods (although I have, repeatedly), but they absolutely suck.
I once whinged about this to a young man and he reckoned that wet dreams were the male equivalent.
I can see his point, of course. Unbidden orgasms in the middle of the night? Horrible. Give me cramps, mood swings, tampons with badly working applicators and overflowing sanitary towels ANYTIME.
That poor lad. I mean that's true suffering, innit?
I am assuming, of course, that you smacked him in the head.
I did, but only after I'd given him a good kick in the balls :D
Haha! :)
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