Stressed?

Oh, a bit. You could say that. Yes. Stressed? More like fucking overwhelmed by a truck load of pressure. It's like I'm lying down and beckoning the steamroller to just flatten me.

1) New job. Good, certainly but waaayyyy more responsibility than my current one. And not a whole heaping lot more of a raise, lemme tell ya. And only 10 days for holiday in 1 year's time. Are you joking? This has to be a joke, right? No? Oh dear. Oh dear. Panic setting in.

2) Moving. Some people don't mind it. But I think, I think, this is my 17th move in 6 years or some such nonsense and I fucking loath it. LOATH it. (Also realised on the redline last night that I fucking loath the Cubs purely based on their smelly, godforsaken horde of fans jammed onto the train and that due to the fuckwit fans the Cubs deserve to lose every year for almost a century). Moving entails switching addresses around, hiring movers and/or moving trucks, bruising/spraining some (or most) of my body, and LOTS and LOTS of mental stress (no tears because I can't produce 'em but crying is guaranteed, anyway). Not to mention old fucking landladies draining the last of my money from me and threatening to not give me back all of my deposit (which wasn't mine in the first place but am still entitled to, apparently). Bugger. So moving. Not so keen on it.

3) Burning Man. It is the coolest, most spiritualist, wicked event on earth. According to Jami, "It's hopping up and down exciting!" and according to Graham, "The most intellectual people gather there." I know that it is a very exciting event and I am proud to be going for the first time this year. I hear stories that after BM one is forever changed. But the effort and pressure I am experiencing at this moment due to aforesaid amazing, life-changing event is totally doing my head in. Mostly because I am trying to sort out the details to the first 2 stressful things in this stress list. I am worried about the clothing bit because if one doesn't have funky, trendy, crazy-ass outfits then you won't fit in at this open-minded earthy-worshipy festival. I have spent $300 on apparel for BM. $300 I do not have. Credit cards, anyone? All the other details of getting the proper gear, renting a car, having a one-way flight back from Reno, shipping the bikes, and then starting my NEW job the day AFTER I get back from this wild jaunt into the spiritual enviro of the desert is a bit disconcerting to say the least. So would I rather stay home? You know, No, I definitely most absolutely wouldn't want to miss out! Don't worry. I'm dealing...just needing a vent and this blog is for everything so there.

Last night it all got to me a little bit, mostly due to the moving doobitty and the new-jobbiness. But cats usually land on their feet, so I hear. I am assuming that applies to Kats with a K as well? No? Maybe? Can't a girl get a break? *walks away in direction of nearest cocktail*