Settle
One of the most challenging things in life for me is deciding where to settle. Or indeed, if I even have to settle. Perhaps it is an option. It seems to be something that everyone just does when they've grown up, gotten a job, a partner, kids, house, etc.
I don't know where I want to live for the majority of my life. Does anyone, really? Some people do, I suppose. I think they're lucky. I'm always struggling with my desire to go into debt on my credit card and hop on a plane with all my ruck-sacky possessions to see where I end up. For like, years.
401K? Retirement? Huh? I get sucked into that youth mentality of being immortal and never growing old. But I know that's a fucking sham because there's already slight crow's feet near my eyes and I'm only 24. Okay, alright. I know I should settle somewhere but the question is: How long can I put it off? And where?
I don't know yet.
posted by Kathryn @ 2:42 PM
7 Comments:
If you don't know yet, don't worry about it yet. That's what I think.
I'm pretty settled (except for my chaotic worklife), but I never seem to feel as utterly happy as I do when I'm on the move with no real idea of where I'll end up. I forget about that when caught up in the 'real world', but those times when I'm just free falling through the days... my spirit just feels free.
Kathryn, don't even THINK about settling anywhere until you know you're heart is in it 100%. That may never happen but there is something t o be said about the sense of adventure and resilience of one who can create a home wherever they land and overcome all obstacles that are presented to them. That is worth much more than a 401k. Al around me I see people who are settling down and it perplexes me. They are talking already about marriage and kids and that to me is the equivalent of a sounding death knoll. I like my life in San Francisco very much but in no way am I ready (or willing) to throw the anchor down. I never will. If that means moving around a lot, or having a place to live in several countries so be it. I'm happily looking forward to two years from now when I am going to throw caution to the wind and head off on a year long (or more) to all the places I've seen in my heart. I'm going to explore. And that is worth so much more than a normal boring ass life in which you feel trapped by bills, rent and commitments! You never know! Things have a way of working themselves out (especially in a way you NEVER planned on)!
P.S. The reason I say two years because that is the earliest estimate I can make to when I will be debt free (except for my student loans which I can defer) and can take off on a plane far, far away from here!
Quick- You're probably right. I'm at my happiest, too, when not knowing where I'm going to end up and on the move. It's difficult trying not to get too dreamy and swept up in a fantasy-type life at times. Unfortunately, the 'Real World' will always be there but that doesn't mean I can't work around it!
Justina- You go girl! *snap* Thanks for the optimistic stuff, I can use it right now.
Here are the places I have considered living for a couple of years (starting possibly Spring 2008): San Diego, Hong Kong, or Prague. SD is the most likely candidate because of the bf. But I wouldn't mind spending a few months in SE Asia and swinging down to NZ or OZ for a quick visit. Prague is set for doing my tefl course (autumn 2007). London has also been back up on the agenda but that all depends on a certain someone.
I don't need to worry about settling yet, do I? Perhaps in 10 years? Let me know where you are going in a couple of years and I'll meet up with you!
Wait! What am I talking about? I'll see you in August for Lollapalooza and Burning Man! Yee haa!
I relate, to an extent.
1. I am a disgustingly emotional person. It is probably a character flaw.
2. On the upside, I've experienced more passion and fun and excitement so far than most average chumps do in 10 lifetimes.
3. But I'm near the end of my rope. Just before reading this, I told a friend on the phone: "I could settle down. Those girls who want to move to the suburbs and get married and start popping out kids aren't looking so terrible anymore."
4. I don't want to do that, but if the alternative is a life of loneliness, chronic uncertainty, and being poor, I might not have a choice (especially if I want to live to a ripe old age).
5. "Stable", "down-to-earth" has its benefits. "Boring" doesn't, but "simple things" are good.
6. There is no yoga, no accumulation of scholarly knowledge, no subtle imagination and creativity, no service to others, when one is continually running from one earthly adventure to the next. And possibly worst of all, no lazy early retirement filled with leisurely travel.
Wait. That may not have come off right, given the audience... I better rephrase it. They LOOK terrible, okay???...(nervous smile). But I understand them, and I don't have a right to think of them as mindless cattle at this point.
That said, I understand saving for x time and taking off. Let all who do this be careful, right. There are sacrifices.
Anonymous- Whilst it is important, I think, to be somewhat practical and to make efforts to save and plan for later on in life I also believe in not having to stay in one place for 40 years. I wouldn't mind saving up heaps somewhere for a few years and then relocating for another few. If I find that I liked one place over another or that I missed the people there, of course I would probably go back and eventually settle. I suppose what I mean is that wherever I'm happy is where I'll stay but (and I know you agree) I will still be hopping off at various times to explore the rest of the world. It is too interesting, crazy, scary, and fun not to! :)
"There is no yoga, no accumulation of scholarly knowledge, no subtle imagination and creativity, no service to others, when one is continually running from one earthly adventure to the next."
I have to disagree with this. I think there is a lot to be learned and gained through travel. Yes, even if one is technically "running away." What about the impact one has upon others and vice-versa? From personal experience, I have taken quite a lot from others and I like to think I have given back something. Sharing a few good giggles or a deep conversation on the meaning of life with travelers does a lot of the time involve imagination, subtle or not.
As for "accumulation of scholarly knowledge". Well, I went to university overseas and I could do it again. But in the not so "scholarly" way I think all people who go on adventures find themselves learning new things. Either about themselves or others. I think travelers are almost always curious and sniffing out new stuff.
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